How to get help when you have a newborn

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We know a lot of your moms and mother-in laws will stay with you to "help out" with the new baby. In our experience, they don't always end up helping. They actually can cause more stress for a new mom. We put together some tips to help you laugh about the help you may or may not be getting from the people who come to visit the newborn.

  1. Put their bed in the same room where the baby sleeps so they will be the one to get up with the baby.
  2. Leave a "to do" list on the fridge. Title it "Things I need help with."
  3. Ask if they are thirsty. When they says "yes," tell them you want a drink, too.
  4. Leave a gift basket or box on their bed filled with cleaning supplies.
  5. Leave a pen and your baby announcements out on the table. Tell them you were hoping they would be addressed and mailed out before she leaves.
  6. Leave copies of your favorite dinner recipes on the fridge. Date each one for one day while they will be there.

Just remember, when you become a grandma, keep these tips in mind. Our readers have helped give some experiences that you might want to pass along to your mother and mother-in-law when the come to help out when you have your baby.

"My mother-in-law came up to help us with our newborn. She wanted to cook for us but ended up cooking everything that my husband liked and nothing that I could eat or wanted to eat. She didn't clean up after herself and ended up getting upset when I didn't eat my food or if she couldn't hold her grandson.

Mothers, when you come up to help, please ask the new moms what foods they can eat (while breastfeeding) or that sounds good to them. Also please understand that if you are here to help, help. Do the dishes, help with the laundry, take the pets out. Don't get mad if you cannot hold your grandchild every moment they are awake. They need time to bond with their own moms." --Alicia G.

"I had my son in May. He just turned 2 months old and he is darling. I also have a 19 month old daughter Chloe. When having the two children I learned to make a list. On paper or head. I have a hard time asking for help and when I get it, it is not the help I wished for.

My mother and mother-in-law came to visit to help out on both child births. Here you are, a new mother and you need help with cooking, cleaning, take baby for an hour to get some sleep, etc.

My best advice is to prepare a list of the everyday tasks you handle and would like help with. When your help arrives, have a sit down and say "I prepared a list of the important things I would like help with. Would it be possible for you to help out while I feed baby or take a nap?"

I should have done this from day one. It would have saved me a lot of frustration and yelling at my poor husband. Wish me luck. I have my mother in law in a week and a half coming and my mom on 8-17 for a week. Thanks for listening and I hope this list thing helps some of those moms in the same shoes as me." Michelle H.

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